High Noon on the streets of Elm Vale

It was "surveys" at noon on the streets of Elm Vale this Sunday.

Liam and I were continuing our progress around the streets, calling at every house, engaging with local people, talking about the issues they were interested in. We really enjoy it, it is one of the highlights of our week.

We were knocking on doors in a particular side street when into the noon day sun came a cowboy. A big man, dressed in black, with a bow-legged swagger, he stared down the street at us, his fingers twitching over each hip, his holsters packed with survey forms.

In the distance I could hear the strains of his song, carried on the wind.

"Do not forsake us LibDem voters, when it comes to polling day
We do not know what fate awaits us, we only know we must be brave"

Skulking, he followed us round the small side street, knocking on doors we had just knocked on, speaking to voters we had just spoken to. He clearly had a targetted approach (for this cowboy was not knocking on every door but only a few, those perhaps who identified as LibDem in an previous poll or those who had voted in every election. His surveys were pre-printed with names and addresses of recipients apparently).

He caught up with us eventually and stopped to eavesdrop on our conversation. We were pleased to demonstrate our thoughtful and all-inclusive approach to resident engagement and consultation. Indeed had he been at home three weeks earlier, he could have had the full script in person.

Repaying the favour he allowed us to hear his own spiel at the next door. He was, he said, calling on behalf of Frank Doran with a survey that he would like people to complete and then leave in their letterbox when he would collect it back up within 30 minutes. I did call down to the street to him, to ask why Frank Doran couldn't deliver his own surveys, but satisfactory responses were not forthcoming.

At the next three doors we knocked on, in this cowboy's wake, we were asked why the Labour Party and LibDem Party were knocking on the same doors at precisely the same time. A very good question, n'est ce pas?

One resident asked me who the buffoon from the LibDems was, I didnt like to say, it didnt seem fair. Of course dear reader, you are thinking it was Richard Marbrow, and indeed the physical resemblance is uncanny, but this particular cowboy is older and rustier.

Having failed to unnerve us or check our happy and productive progress, he scuttled home, we thought that was the end of it.

But no, it transpired he had only gone home briefly for more ammunition and he returned, triumphantly waving the pre-addressed surveys for the next street. He had clearly hoped to chase us away with just one street's worth of surveys the first time so had not brought any more out with him.

We neatly stepped round him, moved on, missed the next street, chatted to residents in subsequent streets for whom we also had the data and he clearly didn't, unless he went back home for a third time, which even this cowboy would have been embarassed about. We finished the missed street long after he finally sloped off.

What was achieved here?

How helpful was the "buffoon" to Frank's campaign for re-election? "Probably not very" would be my honest response. I would sack him if I were you, he has turned you into a laughing stock.

Neighbours do talk to each other, people in this area do know that Labour is working our way round the doors. They have also heard from us, postal strike permitting, about our progress on their issues. Some of them were sniggering and pointing up the street after your goon. They entirely understood that these were unnattractive spoiler tactics from an unattractive party designed to undermine our efforts.

Take them for granted at your peril.

We had a really productive session, again, speaking to local people, getting the inside track, taking their issues forward, making a difference.

Bring on May 1st, Make My Day!